Cheating spouse marriage
Women tend to find emotional affairs more threatening than sexual affairs, whereas men are more willing to forgive emotional affairs but for both, the most common response to learning of their partner's affair is jealousy. Even if you were the one wronged, working with a professional may be helpful in coping and recovering yourself.
Unresolved jealousy can lead to resentment, and as the old adage claims: "Resentment is like poison you drink yourself, and then wait for the other person to die.
Why I Cheated On My Husband
Some couples can move past infidelity and move on to have even an even better relationship, whereas some cannot. Certainly, there are times when continuing the marriage wouldn't be recommended. Before you analyze the specifics of the affair from your spouses perspective and look at why the affair occurred in terms of his or her needs, it's important to look at your own needs.
This can be more challenging than it sounds, especially amidst the jealousy and anger. If you were the one who had an affair, there are several steps you can take if you hope to save your marriage.
Motivations for extramarital affairs are vast and can vary by gender
Foremost you need to stop cheating and lying immediately and own your choice. Being patient and giving your spouse space is essential. That doesn't say it will work out. It may not. But without accepting full responsibility not blaming or justifying your behavior the chances will be low. The chance that you can get past the affair depends on many factors, such as the reasons why it occurred and characteristics of both people.
To truly understand and move forward, both partners will need to listen to the other which can be extremely challenging in this setting , and not assume that their partner's motivation or feelings would be the same as their own. For those who decide to try and overcome infidelity, it appears that the mutual capacity to forgive and a strong commitment to the relationship are key. There are many potential reasons for cheating, and marriage is complicated.
But speaking directly, expressing your needs, practicing forgiveness, and making a commitment to work on your marriage daily are the best insurance plan to protect your marriage. Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. There was an error. Please try again. Thank you, , for signing up.
Altgelt, E. Who is Sexually Faithful? Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
10 Things You Should Never Do After Discovering A Spouse's Affair | HuffPost Life
Knopp, K. Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? Archives of Sexual Behavior. Mark, K.
Park, Y. Current Psychology. Selterman, W. Motivations for Extradyadic Infidelity Revisited. The Journal of Sex Research. Weiser, A.
Should You Give a Cheating Spouse a Second Chance?
Family Background and Propensity to Engage in Infidelity. Journal of Family Issues. More in Relationships. Similarly, boredom with the marital relationship may lead both men and women to cheat. Risk Factors With an Individual. Risk Factors with the Relationship. Some of the reasons cited as the cause for cheating include:.
Secondary Reasons for Cheating. Cry for Help vs.
Exit Strategy. Can Your Marriage Survive Infidelity? It won't be an easy discussion , especially since his view differs from your view on the subject. He or she may find it hard to view from your perspective or he or she may feel that you are over-reacting.
By using MyDomaine, you accept our. Some people consider it cheating in a relationship if their partner does the following:. Flirts with someone other than their partner Discusses things of a sexual nature with someone other than their partner Gives gifts to someone other than their partner unless they are a relative Has sexual contact with someone other than their partner Chats online with someone other than their partner Shares personal information and emotional feelings with someone other than their partner Texts with someone other than their partner.
Cell phone and credit card bills may be hidden. If you ask why or attempt to find out information that used to be common knowledge between the two of you, you will be accused of snooping or trying to control your spouse. Big warning sign! Men and women who are involved with someone else will request more space, time alone or away from the family.
They may say it is due to confusion over their feelings or stress at work. This can be a sign that there is someone else and the spouse is trying to figure out ways to have more freedom.
Working late is a great cover for a spouse who is having an affair. If your spouse suddenly has to work late after years of coming home at a certain time then I would say it is safe to be suspicious that something other than work is going on. Work related excuses are a good way to account for large blocks of time away from home.
Below are some behaviors that should cause you to pay attention to what is going on in your marriage. When it comes to figuring out whether your spouse is cheating all you need is your own sense of intuition. No one knows your spouse and their work habits better than you. The ease of internet chat rooms, online dating sites and secret email accounts has caused an alarming increase in emotional affairs. If your spouse is online more than usual, hanging out in chat rooms and visiting pornographic websites then you have reason to be alarmed.
Emotional affairs occur primarily via the phone, especially cell phones. If you find your spouse hanging up suddenly when you enter the room or erasing the history on the cell phone and becoming defensive when asked about it, then you might want to check your phone records. Missing time they can't explain.
Money that isn't accounted for. Receipts for things you don't have. Missing clothing. Clothing that does not belong to your family.
Being caught in little lies about the details of the day. If you find yourself looking for excuses for your spouse's behavior or trying to convince yourself that they would never cheat then that is a warning sign. Your intuition is frequently one of the best indicators that something is wrong. Do it in a way that is calm and courteous. Ask for honesty.